(✿◠‿◠)

oh

my entire life is a queue

your hair looks really good today

 

lntruding:

 soviet russian grandma cats complaining about their grandchildren and swapping recipes

lntruding:

 soviet russian grandma cats complaining about their grandchildren and swapping recipes

(Source: lunahudson)

velvetqueer:

uhmwillowsomething:

huesosmccoy:

why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that

uh 

because “pussy” is the shortened form of the word “pusillanimous”, which means “timid, cowardly”

and not the slang word for the female genital region?

literally no one else knows this. nobody. 

(Source: littlemixens)

wow lovely
Played 393,572 times

thats-what-im-tolkien-about:

ursorum:

tylersthings:

Forgive me padre for I have siiiiiiinned

I can’t believe someone made a fucking audio post for that stupid deer picture I made. this is unbelievable. I’ve reached a new level of sentience. I am unstoppable. I am the alpha and the omega.

Please make sure this is played at my funeral 

mm yes

chromeofficial:

ma’am when i said freestyle i did not mean rap. this is a swimming competition please turn down the beat. ma’am.

guiselore:

lesbianathogwarts:

bashdoard:

fuckyeah-bill:

Promoing at the beach

Ancient Roman prostitutes did something similar, but usually they would have phalluses inscribed in their sandals. So, if you were ever in the mood, you could just look down and follow the dicks.

follow the yellow dick-road

I love history lessons on tumblr.

guiselore:

lesbianathogwarts:

bashdoard:

fuckyeah-bill:

Promoing at the beach

Ancient Roman prostitutes did something similar, but usually they would have phalluses inscribed in their sandals. So, if you were ever in the mood, you could just look down and follow the dicks.

follow the yellow dick-road

I love history lessons on tumblr.

(Source: sve-sto-imam-nemamm)

karaokekarkat:

deanscabbages:

lovelixst:

rivendellcustomersupport:

this was designed for very young children and i am not a young child i am a 260 pound man

how did you get in there.

how did you get out of there

???? ??/?

??????/??????  ?????/1??? ?????????????????//? ?

technocat:

motherfucker what is this shit, sand? fuck sand. i hate sand. thanks, mom. thanks for absolutely nothing, leaving me here on this fucking beach, is that a fucking seagull? oh my god, mom, you suck more than anything has ever sucked. i’m getting to that ocean just so i can urinate on your carapace. i’m gonna urinate on it so hard. fucking sand. i think five of my brothers just got eaten. good, i hated those assholes. i’m coming, mom. you’ve got blood on your flippers, bitch.

technocat:

motherfucker what is this shit, sand? fuck sand. i hate sand. thanks, mom. thanks for absolutely nothing, leaving me here on this fucking beach, is that a fucking seagull? oh my god, mom, you suck more than anything has ever sucked. i’m getting to that ocean just so i can urinate on your carapace. i’m gonna urinate on it so hard. fucking sand. i think five of my brothers just got eaten. good, i hated those assholes. i’m coming, mom. you’ve got blood on your flippers, bitch.

(Source: wolf-teeth)

the-misadventures-of-lele:

squidwurd:

condommodel:

today at work someone tipped me a potato

image

in some countries that is a marriage proposal

Even the potato looks confused

poisonnoak:

bombing:

strwberry97:

bombing:

for someone who’s 70% water you don’t look very refreshing

BURNNNN

water cannot be burned

EVAPORATEEE

let's be friends